Dear Reva:

I loathe school shopping. My teenage daughter has trouble fitting into the “latest” fashions, which causes friction when shopping. Of course we will never agree on what she “should wear,” and I don’t want to control that completely, but I want to make the experience enjoyable and spend some quality time with her. It seems every year we battle at the stores.

Also, with the economy the way it is money is tight and the family is just unable to spend as much on school clothes and supplies as years past.

Do you have any advice on finding that happy medium when it comes to school shopping?

I get tired of hitting the stores over and over again. I’d like to get it all done in one day. When is a good time to do this?

I’d also like to purchase just the basic necessities. What do you suggest and how do I find the best deals?

Signed,

Can’t keep up with the Jones’

Dear Can’t Keep Up with the Jones’:

School shopping can be quite frustrating, especially on a tight budget. We all want to give our kids the best and all they want. When your budget is tight, it’s important to remember the essentials first. New clothing etc. is not an essential unless your child has outgrown everything. (Remember, too, birthdays, and holidays are a great time to let family members know your kids’ clothing sizes.) If your child goes to school and doesn’t have the essentials for learning, then you’re in trouble as it could reflect in her grade. Plus it’s embarrassing if kids (teens) are given supplies by their teacher, and the kid may feel like a charity case.

You need to sit and have that conversation with your teen that there just isn’t a lot of extra money to play with this year, so there will be essentials bought for school and perhaps instead of four or five new outfits, just one or two. It doesn’t have to be a fight, just a serious heart to heart.

I start often with my daughter (who’s 5) and say, ”Ya know if I could I would buy you everything in the world, but I can’t so here’s the deal…” Then we talk about what she can have, for example she’s now so excited to be getting her new Barbie backpack and lunch bag (essentials).  You can even make those essentials sound good! Say it with love and not too “matter-of-factly.”

Oh goodness!  Where to shop? This may be hard to say considering style, but Walmart usually has it all and at great prices. I wish I could advocate for smaller home owned businesses, but I really don’t know of any who has it all AND are inexpensive. You can also try online for buying clothes. Many stores often have free shipping and great sales at this time of year. The only problem… ya can’t try them on until you receive them, and then returning them isn’t always a fun or easy process. But, it keeps you out of the stores if you hate shopping.  You can always hit the malls too… many stores, one roof! There are also thrift stores to buy clothing from, maybe not a popular choice, but they will have different clothes, new to them, and no one knows where you got them or how much.  I have a friend who does this every year. Her kids don’t know where she got the stuff nor do they care because she chooses fashionable items that look new.

My last thought on this is to sit down with paper and pen and the Sunday paper, snag the fliers for the stores sales, circle what you NEED and prepare a list of necessities. Stick to your list (and your budget), then choose a day and go shopping at those places for those items.  However, there are some us who get things along the way… I am guilty of this. It just doesn’t seem to cost as much when I do this. I have young children, so I haven’t really hit the costly back-to-school items, yet! But instead of blowing $35 to $40 on ONLY school supplies in one shot, I buy as I go along throughout the summer. I’ll pick up the tissues and crayons one day and then the backpack and pencils another day, etc… until all is done! You can do this with clothing too. Tell them they get one new outfit now, then one every pay day throughout September, for example! Set your own parameters here.

And to heck with the Jones Family; they are probably having the same issues too, maybe on a different monetary scale or on a different life issue. The focus is your family! You can only do what you can do. Besides if it wasn’t the Jones family, then it’d be the Brown family or the Clark family or the Smith Family. And if it wasn’t school items and clothing, it may be housing, or vacations, vehicles, or spouses. Be blessed with what you have! The Jones family has their share of problems too.  (I think I answered a question for them in the past too. LOL!)

Live Happy! Stay Healthy!

~Reva

Dear Reva has a degree in teaching and child psychology. Her views do not necessarily reflect the views of staff at M3P Media LLC. To contact Dear Reva, email madnews@m3pmedia.com.